“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” (Larry Wilde, The Merry Book of Christmas)
Christmas. It’s in the air. Especially in Utah where there are radio stations that begin playing all Christmas music, all of the time…in October!
It causes me to reflect on Christmases past—and Christmas now.
I remember my first Christmas as a married woman, arriving home from work in the early darkness of a winter evening. As I drove up the street, approaching my little starter home, I could see lights BLAZING from a neighbor’s home (glowing in the fashion of the Griswold’s lit up home in “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” movie.) I laughed to myself, “Oh-ho! Now THERE is someone who loves Christmas! I’ve never seen so many lights, in person, on one house! I wonder who the Christmas fan is?”
And imagine my surprise, as I got closer to the spectacle, to see it was my house. Apparently, the fan was me.
Those were also the days of giant, towering, beautiful and majestic Christmas trees.
Enter the unexpected life.
Last year, Christmas was a bit of a struggle. Christmas 2009 was our first, on the heels of a lot of life change. It was lonely and worrisome. I’d never done Christmas lights before. I’d never set up a Christmas tree by myself before. I’d never had to earn my own money for Christmas gifts before. And despite the fact I felt quite healed from much of what had transpired earlier that year, I had to leave the celebration a few times and go up into my bedroom, alone, to cry.
But somehow we got through it.
My children and I had never set up a fake Christmas tree by ourselves before, but eventually we figured it out. (Ok, the honest truth is my daughter did!) My oldest son did our Christmas lights. (I drove home from work to discover all of our bushes illuminated. A special Christmas memory for my first Christmas as a single mother!) And an uncle, a family friend and a small bonus from work helped with the Christmas gifts.We held on to what traditions we could, let a few go and did some things in new and different ways.
Very similar to what you do when an unexpected life hits, actually. Cry, some. (If you’re like me.) Hold on to what you can, let a few things go, do some things in new and different ways and somehow, you get through it. You figure it out. And through it all, you get by with a little help from friends.
A year has passed. I like to (naively) believe we’ve gone through our “firsts” of everything although I’m learning that healing and life, including the unexpected one, is a process. Just when you think you’re healed or have learned what you needed to learn, occasionally something happens that shows you you’re not totally through the process. There’s a little bit left to heal. A little bit more to be conquered. Always more to learn. But with each passing day, and each challenge you rise above, you’re wiser, stronger, better, more capable and always able to see a new tender mercy or count an additional blessing.
And you can look back and see how you’ve grown. How far you’ve come.
For instance, this year, December 2010, yesterday, my children got our Christmas tree. While I was at work, they loaded in the car, drove to Home Depot, looked through all of the trees, chose the one they liked best, paid for it, hauled it home and I arrived home to a Christmas tree on our front porch! (In fact, the only thing they “forgot” to do was take a photo to document the experience.)
Today’s holiday adventure at the Merriman home will include hauling a real tree into the house and learning to master a Christmas tree stand. And if it’s like everything else, every other adventure we’ve encountered since entering our unexpected life, I’m pretty sure we’ll figure it out.
“An adventure may be worn as a muddy spot or it may be worn as a proud insignia. It is the woman wearing it who makes it the one thing or the other.” (Norma Shearer)
The unexpected life.
I remember our “poorest” Christmas. It was Christmas 1987 and our boys were 7 and 10. We had no money and no family. We had bought the boys some cheap toys so they would have some presents under the tree plus what my mom had bought them. I asked the boys what they wanted for Christmas dinner hoping they would not say turkey and all the trimmings. What they wanted was chicken noodle soup out of a can!! Why out of a can, because I always made homemade noodle soup and they thought having Campbell’s chicken noodle soup out of a can was a treat. So we bought like 8 cans of soup and I made some biscuits to go with it.
That was our best Christmas. We played games, ate soup and biscuits, watched Christmas movies on TV and just enjoyed our time with us four. When we talk about Christmases passed that one always comes up in conversation.
Glad you made it through your first Christmas. Now this year is a first Christmas with Agent M. Wonder what he has in store for you all.
By the way, we may be coming through Utah in late February/early March…not sure where you are but maybe we could get together. It would be fun to meet in person and share one big hug.
That is such a great Christmas memory, thank you for sharing! I wonder what this year’s Christmas has in store for us, as well. I’ll have to let you know! And by all means, if you are coming through Utah, you had better look me up. It would be GREAT to meet in person! Just keep me posted on your travel plans and I will make sure I’m available and will drive to where you’re passing through if need be:)
Christmas 2004 will be my most memorable Christmas for years to come. Unemployed, savings gone and very little hope for doing anything for the kids. Unexpected gifts were cast upon our family. Those that I had reached out to in their time of need reached out to us and returned the favor.
Cindy tells me it was the best Christmas she has ever had. We knew we had no money so we focused on the real meaning of the season.
I love that story, thanks for sharing.
Oh, the days of real trees, fighting the tree to put it into a stand, trying to decide what limbs to cut off to put it into the stand (and how much to cut it down to have it not hit our ceiling and have the star still fit on top), sap dripping onto newspapers, and after the battle, having Mr. Tree drink enormous amounts of water. Seemed like I could never give it enough to keep it alive. Every Christmas we had a real tree, I think it was dead and dropping needles by Christmas. It was always such a pain to get down there on the ground, fighting branches and needles in my hair, to give it water, especially when the presents were in the way. Since half of the fun of a real tree is the fresh smell, and my sense of smell is quite diminished these days, pre-lit fake trees bring me a huge feeling of joy at Christmas. I don’t miss those tree battles, and all the time of stringing lights on a tree. I remember one year we had a blue spruce and I had to wear gloves to put the lights on, because the needles were like knives. Even through the gloves I was getting pricked. So, I admire your enthusiasm and efforts to have a real tree. It’s an important memory for children. It’s a memory I’m glad is a memory, for me! 😀
LOL.
An excellent first when the kids do the tree shopping themselves!
Don’t forget to put a little 7 up in the tree stand – NOT sprite – 7up. It helps the tree to stay fresher longer.
And a Merry Christmas to you!
Yes, quite a helpful first. And thank you so much for the 7-Up tip. I have never heard of it, but I’m going to try it! Merry Christmas to you, too!
wow! your first real tree! you guys should have come down and chopped your own with us. maybe next year! it is lots of fun! our tree this year is beautiful! can’t wait to see yours.
Yes, we should have. Unfortunately, all we seemed to have time for was a quick trip to Home Depot for one! My goal, someday, is to chop one down with my children. THAT would be a memory!