The day we met Cheryl Preheim we spent time in our home and in the canyon not far from our home. Eventually, I had to leave the canyon and take my middle son to football practice.
Cheryl asked, “How about if your older two children stay here with Ken and I, we’ll talk to them alone and take them home when we’re done?”
I hadn’t expected that, for some reason. I hadn’t prepared myself, or them, for that experience. I have amazing children, but still, it’s kind of huge to leave your teens alone, in front of a camera that’s recording–who knows what they’ll say? But in life, especially the unexpected one, you’ve got to improvise. I’ve flown by the seat of my pants a lot since March 18, 2009. So I drove away.
When we were back at my home, Cheryl caught me alone and said, “I have to tell you about our interview.”
I died inside.
I sort of panicked. And I’m ashamed to say, I imagined the worst.
“What?” I asked. “They didn’t argue or fight did they? They weren’t rude, were they?” That would be just my luck to display, not for the first time (please see 2009’s media reports on Shawn Merriman and the revelation of his Ponzi scheme if you don’t know what I’m talking about!) the finest aspects of our character, our finest moments, publicly, in the media.
Cheryl laughed and said, “Don’t worry! Your children are amazing. I just sat and heard your teenage son tell me life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% what you do with it. I can’t believe it.” She shared something inspiring my daughter had said, as well, and the mother in me calmed down.
Instead, it was one of those parent paydays. You parents out there know what those are. You love, labor to teach, serve, and expend your energies helping your children grow and develop and learn all they need to…and you don’t always see the fruits of your efforts right away. But if you’re lucky, every now and then, you get glimpses of the amazing adults they’re on track to become. It reminds you how worth it all is, how much fun it has all been. That’s how that day turned out for me.
Coincidentally, the thought about attitude my son referenced is part of a quote Cheryl had heard before. She loved it so much she carried it with her. And she left that thought, in the form of a fridge magnet, for us when she left. Here it is:
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.” (Charles R. Swindoll)
Thanks, Cheryl. (And Charles.)
I believe the only way you’re going to get through life and rise above your challenges is to take charge–and keep a good attitude. It is something I’ve come to realize the longer I’VE lived. And when you can’t control the the unexpected events that become your life, it’s comforting to be in charge of something.
Thank goodness we’re always in charge of the most important thing.
Attitude.
“I am more and more convinced that our happiness or our unhappiness depends far more on the way we meet the events of life than on the nature of those events themselves.” (Karl Wilhelm von Humboldt)
Thanks Andrea for your blog and I really loved that quote. I am steeling it. May God continue to bless you and your family.
Paula
Thanks for reading my blog and commenting. I love that quote too. Use it however you can (I have) and maybe we’ll change the world!:) God’s blessings to you and your family as well.
Hi. Just read your story on 9news.com. My family has gone through some hard financial times (not quite as difficult as yours) and we recently left our home of 19 years and moved. I sympathize with you and your kiddos but it sounds like you are a strong enough for 2 parents. Great job! I love the quote from your son. How we deal with things is so important especially for our kiddos.
Thinking of you.
Hi, thanks for the comment and welcome to my blog! I am sorry for your difficulties, but know that you have a friend who can empathize with you in me. Good job to you for carrying on and remaining cheerful (it even comes through in how and what you write!) And I love the quote from my son too. He is a good young man, an amazing teenager, is wise beyond his years (and the things he has learned I think will serve him well all the days of his life); he has really stepped up to the plate for our family. Have a wonderful day.
Andrea,
I am so sorry for everything you have gone through, I had no idea until I read the Channel 9 news clip. God bless you for being the strong woman you have turned out to be with all the hardships you have had to deal with, you have inspired me now. I have gone through financial hardship, but just from being unemployed for almost a year, nothing like what you have gone through. I had a childhood and adulthood that not many would survive…reading your story has actually made me stop and think you know if she can overcome what she has gone through then why can’t I learn from her and get-over what I had to go through as a child as well as my sister siblings…not so much my brothers but, from what happened to us, we ended up losing my mother at 48 young years old, and my step-father at 50 for what he had done to us just because of people being to judge-mental and wanting to take the law into their own hands. I thought I was a strong woman, at least I feel that way most of the time but reading your blog and your story, I know now, nothing is impossible to achieve if you let your faith and family lead the way. Thank you so much for making me open my eyes and know, “hey, I am not the only one that needs to be strong”. You are an amazing woman and I am glad to be working with such an amazing woman, especially now that I know your story. I feel a bond just from what I have read!! Keep up the fantastic work you are doing as a mother and just surviving. God Bless you Andrea!!
Way to go.
Thanks!
What a great story. What wonderful kids. Thanks Mom! You have all learned the prayer of serenity well. It is heartwarming to see the strength you gain from each other from just being a family. God’s speed to you all.
Thank you. We appreciate your kind words. And we will keep seeking serenity. “Serenity now!” (To quote Jerry Stiller.) Have a wonderful day, thanks for commenting.:)
I have a quote for you.
It’s my attitude quote. I loved it so much I posted it on my wall.
“Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you but on what happens inside of you.”
-Harold B. Lee
L-O-V-E Love it! Thanks for sharing! I need to remember this one.:)
Awesome quote and so true, speaking from experience!! 🙂
Thanks! And thanks for reading and commenting:)
You’re welcome…you are a true inspiration to so many people Andrea!! 🙂