We all learned a lot from Bachelor #1. Including what to call the men I dated.
I don’t know why I have such an aversion to the word “boyfriend” but I do, and always have. It must be the way I was raised. My parents drilled this into my head: Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. Don’t tie yourself down. Don’t have a boyfriend. NEVER tie yourself to just one guy–until you are engaged!
So, I never did. I never had what I called a boyfriend. In fact, when I got engaged to my former spouse and went to tell my roommates I was getting married, they looked at me in shock and asked, “WHO are you engaged to?” I was surprised they didn’t know, so I asked them to guess. I was even more surprised when “Shawn Merriman” was the 5th name they guessed! I guess I got the “no boyfriend” thing my parents taught me down really, really well (in the 80s.)
I went from not having a boyfriend, not having a fiance (couldn’t say that word, either, for some reason!) to having a husband. Fortunately, I was able to say that word. For 20 years!
And then I became single again, unexpectedly, in 2009. I re-entered the dating scene. And my kids started saying things like, “So, when are you going to see your BOYFRIEND again?”
It struck a nerve. I just couldn’t call Bachelor #1 my boyfriend. That title made me cringe! He wasn’t my boyfriend.
I told my son, “Don’t call him that. I don’t have a boyfriend. He’s not my boyfriend.”
And before I could explain why I was so weird about that, my son said, “Oh, yah, that’s right. He’s not a boy. He’s a man. Got it, Mom, so when are you going to see your MANFRIEND again?”
I don’t know if that’s what everyone else’s teenagers call the men they date, but it was so unexpected, we all laughed. Hard. And you know what? The title stuck.
Every single man I’ve gone out with has been referenced, by my children, as my “manfriend.” Wouldn’t my parents be proud to know that although they’re gone, I’m still following their advice? No boyfriends for this single mother. Still.
Boyfriends. Who needs them? “I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I’m gonna [mess] it up, yeah, cause I’m an idiot. And I’m your boyfriend.” (Jimmy Fallon)
My advice to all the single ladies out there? Follow the counsel my parents gave me. Don’t complicate your life with boyfriends. Instead, try MANFRIENDS!
i can totally relate to the whole ‘boyfriend’ label. i don’t want my daughter to have one either. mom really engrained that into us, huh. i am so glad you have ‘manfriends.’ it sure has been fabulous entertainment. your life is NEVER boring! love ya!
My life is never boring? I am finally coming to that realization too, after 42 years, and am close to accepting the fact that it may never be! (It’d be fun to try for awhile anyway!) Thanks for reading! And for just saying no to boyfriends like Y.F.D.O.S. did! haha:)
LOVE this Andrea! Hilarious. You are darling.
lol. Thanks for reading! (And no offense to our favorite dentist if he was ever your boyfriend…:) I am just sure he was a good one!
A manfriend? LOL okay. They can’t just call him, “your most recent date”? Although that is a mouthful to say. I guess “manfriend” will have to do.
lol. I guess they are stuck in the whole boy vs. man thing! Somehow, it made sense to them and has provided us a lot of good jokes and laughs!
I am taking so much heart in learning that I am not alone in teaching my children, boys and girl alike, not to date seriously until post-mission (which can help assure that they go on a mission) or post high school for girls. Turns out this is even counsel from President Hinkley. How about that!
Awesome. I guess my parents were ahead of their time!lol. But wise behavior is never dated, is it? Thanks for reading and commenting! Hope you’re well!
Andrea
I have not been able to read your posts for the last week due to the long hours we were working at the Portland Rose Festival. It was so good to get caught up with you. I just love your style of writing and the beautiful sense of humor that you have. You are truly a blessing even when you don’t know it. I am hoping to be back to reading every day.
Welcome back to my blog. Thanks so much for reading and commenting and for your kind words. I appreciate your friendship, support, and that with your busy schedule, you ever check in with the blog! Good luck with everything. Hope things settle down for you soon.:)
Manfriend! I love it!!!! Lol
yep. That’s what we call single men that date me at my house!lol.