I met one of my “oldest” friends for breakfast this morning. I have known her since I was 15 years old, and although we only lived in the same town for a little over a year, our friendship has endured all these years. She was my college roommate for almost three years and has been with me through thick and thin. No matter how long it has been since the last time we’ve seen each other, we are always able to pick up right where we left off. Today was no different.
We chatted about me. We chatted about her. We discussed our children. We talked about our jobs. We talked about life and the unexpected things that happen. We laughed as we reminisced about some of the good times we have shared. The time passed all too quickly (three hours just didn’t seem that long!) and then we had to part ways to attend the activities of our children. As I was partway home, she called my cell phone and asked if I was heading home. When I told her I was, she said she had something for me that reminded her of me, and was going to meet me at my house and give it to me.
She arrived a few minutes later and handed me a cute wooden plaque that said, “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.” She told me as we sat and talked, and then when she saw that phrase, it reminded her of me. I was so touched by her thoughtfulness. We’d spent the morning together, and she thoughtfully added an extra 1-2 hours to her trip to share that gift with me.
I LOVE that statement on the gift she gave me! (And not just because it is true.)
Maya Angelou said, “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”
If you think about it, we are all caterpillars journeying through life. Each experience adds to what we are and what we are becoming until…we become butterflies. Beautiful butterflies!
My mom focused on inner beauty with her children. She’d always say it’s great if you have a beautiful appearance (and to some degree, we don’t get to choose that. If we have it, it’s because we inherited it from someone else!) but true beauty, the important beauty, the beauty that means something is inner beauty. She always encouraged us to be as “pretty on the inside” as she thought we were on the outside.
Inner beauty is not without price. Life happens, we endure challenges and the changes it brings, and if we handle it right, the changes can positively impact our inner beauty. My mom always told me we can use the challenges that come our way to help us become better than we would otherwise have been; we can let the bad things that happen to us refine us, and help us develop real and lasting beauty–inner beauty–or we can allow them to canker our souls and destroy us.
I truly believe THAT is the most important thing we can do when the going is rough: use the terrible experience to help us become better people. It isn’t easy, but it IS possible.
When the unexpected events of 2009 began, a friend called and reminded me that no matter how bad everything looked at the moment, and no matter how terrible I envisioned my future would be, she wanted me to know it was not going to turn out to be QUITE as bad as I feared. And she was right. On March 18, 2009, I absolutely thought my children and I were headed to live in a cardboard box somewhere. Today we live in a home. I thought the huge, gaping hole in our hearts would never heal. But they are. But we’ve had to look for the good; look for the beauty. And have tried to create new beauty out of a very different set of circumstances.
Life, even an unexpected life, can be beautiful. We just have to endure the caterpillar phase, and the chrysalis stage, and look for the beauty that unfolds as we endure and then triumph over our challenges.
And we must never forget this truth: “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”
That’s beautiful–what a lovely way to look at life’s challenges. Thank you.
Thanks. I agree. I wish I could take credit for being brilliant enough to have come up with the thought on my own, but I saw it on a plaque somewhere. It does help me rise above the challenges of life, though. Thanks for reading.
Thanks.
How lovely your wings are!
Thank you. Although I still feel, sometimes, like I’m trying to claw my way out of the cocoon! lol
THANK YOU. Some days they might be…but I still fall short other days, if I’m being honest!:)
That was a beautiful post Andrea! Thank you! I hope I can teach my daughters to become beautiful butterflies! I love that butterfly quote!
Thanks for reading and commenting, and I have to say, I think you are well on your way to raising beautiful daughters who will become butterflies because they had the teachings of a good mother! Great to hear from you.
Wonderful post! Very true… quite inspiring 🙂
Thank you for reading and commenting and for your kind words about my blog. That idea really hit me, and I could not resist sharing it. Glad you enjoyed it.
I haven’t been reading your blog terribly long. Maybe just a few weeks is what I came across it. But I’ve enjoyed every one of your posts and look forward to them. I too went through a divorce and can relate to many of the same feelings although children were not involved in mine. I like how you see through to the positive. Keep up the excellent writing.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting and welcome to my blog! Sorry you had to experience divorce, yourself, my thoughts are with you. We just keep moving on and trying to look for the good, don’t we? Thanks again for reading!
What a beautiful way to look at the world and the things we endure while here.
Yes, I loved that thought too. That’s why I had to share it! Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Go, butterflies!
Again, the only word that comes to mind when reading your thoughts is WOW!
I pray that I could handle life’s unexpected challenges with just half of the grace that you have…and I would consider myself successful!
Thank you so much for being such an inspiration to so many. And to your nay-sayers…STICK IT IN YOUR EAR! lol (Sorry Andrea, I just couldn’t help myself!)
“Smile when your heart is aching. Smile even tho it’s breaking.” One of my favorite songs and sentiments! Keep on smiling beautiful lady!
Thanks so much for this thought. I like that song, too, and I love and appreciate your kind words more than you know. You are a classic!
I LOVE that!!!!
Yes, it really hit me too. Boy, if we just could remember we are on our way to becoming butterflies, everything we have to go through to get there might be a little easier! Thanks for reading.
Ok, so caterpillars turning into butterflys! It is way past my bed time, but I so need to share this story with you. (this is from a book called spiritual divorce pg. 190-if you get a chance to check it out…. On with the story!! (I am paraphrasing of course)
so a man finds a caterpillar nestled in it’s cocoon, he takes it home so he can watch it emerge into a beautiful butterfly. Days later a small opening appears, for several hours the caterpillar struggles, but can’t seem to force it’s body past a certain point. Deciding something is wrong, the man takes out a pAir of scissors and snips the cocoon. The butterfly emerges, it’s body large and swollen. It’s tiny wings are small and shriveled. The man waits… Expecting the wings will spread out into their natural beauty. They do not. Instead of developing into a creature to fly, the butterfly spends it’s life dragging around a swollen body and shriveled wings……..the butterflys struggle to escape the constricting cocoon and pass through the tiny opening is gods way of forcing fluid from it’s body into it’s wings. The mans “merciful” snip was, in reality cruel. When we are suffering and trying to move through our pain, we wish someone could come along and save us, but in truth it is inthis struggle that gives us what we need to develop into the magnificent creatures we were born to be!”
I hope there aren’t too many typos! I am so tired! I will read some more tomorrow.
THANK YOU for that awesome story. It is so true. If only we could remember that as we’re living the hard stuff in our unexpected lives…However, I have to say, I can look at my life and see the things I thought were hard and terrible (and cruel, to me) actually helped me build my character and hopefully become much better than I would otherwise have been. LOVE that story. Thanks so much for sharing!
What a beautiful story of healing Andrea. I admire you so. As I go through my own catepillar stage your blog is helping me heal. Thank you.
Thank you! And I’m glad you’re healing, too. Life is so much better when that happens! Great to hear from you. (Since I don’t live in Colorado anymore, and don’t laminate stuff anymore, it has been awhile!:)