Thankfully, the attorney told me he’d inform the government about my visit to my bank–explain why I had gone there, how much cash for groceries I had withdrawn, etc… And then he asked, “Do you have any idea what you’re going to do?”
That was to become the most-asked question of the day: March 18, 2009.
I thought everyone was asking that in regards to the rest of my life. But I soon learned it wasn’t a question about me, it was about Him. Was I going to kick Him out of the house that day? Did they need to find Him a place to stay?
I didn’t know what I was going to do. Having been married for nearly 20 years, and thinking we were happily married for those 20 years, and thinking I was married to an honest and good man for all those years, not to mention the many shocking revelations I’d received that day, I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I was just trying to get through one minute at a time.
It hadn’t dawned on me to kick him out. I didn’t know what my plan was. My world had crumbled in a moment; I had a million things to confront and face and handle instantly. I didn’t know anything at that point. I only knew I needed to do what was best for my children.
That my answer. “I don’t know. I need to figure out what is best for my children. I will do what is best for my children.”
What WAS best for my children?
Isn’t that the million dollar question of parenting? And in the end, we just have to do what we feel is right, what we believe is best for them, pray (and then go to work) to ensure that our efforts in their behalf help them grow up to be good, responsible, functioning adults–without baggage from their childhood to overcome.
Good luck with that one, Andrea.
And in my case, in this situation anyway, sometimes you are hated for the parenting decisions you make. Not by your children, necessarily, but by outsiders looking in.
The personal hell you’ve lived through when dealing with the consequences of someone else’s free agency is poignant on many levels. The debacle of what is best is so unfair for anyone looking in to judge. The deceit you have been through is of the ugliest kind. It’s still incredibly hard to process the nature of what kind of a person could put their own children and faithful wife through this; but I do know for certain anyone who judges you for the parenting decisions you have had to make is simply petty and ignorant. And that’s using nice words 😉
That is so true. It has been a roller coaster of consequences for sure. And I admit I’ve had my low moments when I wasn’t so sure I appreciated the aspect of agency anymore! lol. But I am thankful for it, I just don’t appreciate the ways many people choose to use it! I love your perspective and opinion, am so thankful you take the time to share it, and that you continue to read my blog. I appreciate your love and support and will never forget you’ve been there from the very beginning. Thanks again!
You are amazing!!! I am truly inspired by your story. Your in my prayers.
Thanks so much for your kind words! I appreciate your support and the fact that you take time to comment and offer it to me in print! Thanks, also, for the prayers. I always need them. Have a wonderful day!:)
Isn’t it amazing how everyone else (including me) knows how other people should raise their kids, spend their money, take care of their yards, etc. and with so much less information than the person who is actually responsible for making the decisions! Life is so much simpler when I am making decisions for other people! 🙂 Keep going, Andrea. There is no end, but there is progress!
Love,
Dan & Bonnie
Thanks for your support and for commenting! Ah…the simple life. Not quite congruent with the unexpected life at all times! lol. Thanks for the encouragement and support. It means a lot. (And thanks for saying I’m making progress! Great to hear!)